Tag Archives: a practical wedding

note to self

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what i truly truly want in my wedding:

  • to see ross at the end of the aisle
  • all of my friends and family (except for a chosen few) to be there and witness everything
  • to really have a nice time knowing that ross and i are finally married
  • to know that people did not just go there for the food.  that all of my invited guests would actually be at the ceremony.
  • for all of my suppliers to do well…  i know i don’t need for them to be exceptional (although that would be great), but i simply don’t want to be disappointed.  i just want them to perform and deliver what needs to be delivered.  i don’t want to replay in my head what happened at my wedding and realize that this particular supplier did not deliver what he’s supposed to.  
  • for my guests to be happy and well-fed

i should remind myself these.  always.  or until december 8.

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i got ross to say yes to my country/rustic-themed wedding because i know that it reflects what we are. laid-back home bodies.  a couple who’d rather spend christmas day inside our room, watching downloaded movies and tv series episodes of ghost fighter and dexter and american horror story and new girl.  although my OCD and/or shopaholic episodes attack once in a while, i’d still rather have wine and cheese at home.

thus, the theme.  i figured it’s the perfect theme for us.  the only reason i wanted a them is for our wedding decor to have a central element.  para lang in some sort of weird way, kahit pano organized yung wedding namin.  and so i started researching for country/rustic-themed wedding details.  and boy, were there a lot.  there were so much that i wanted it all.  then i read this blog:  a practical wedding.  and i was enlightened.  obviously, we’re not having a budget wedding.  getting manila hotel doesn’t count as a budget venue for a reception dinner.  BUT.  we want, and we are striving to, to stay within our set budget.

so, i’m letting go of my paper mills and paper lanterns and ikea lanterns.  as for the flowers, i’ll ask pat if she can give me peonies-look-a-like haha.  because i really really want peonies.  i’m not a biggie on roses.  if the price is right, we’ll just probably get her for the entourage.  then we’ll just get the loose flowers from manila hotel and collect the old jars/vases at home.  [in my opinion, manila hotel centerpieces are a complete turn-off.  i know they are just sticking to the filipiniana look and feel, pero naman, sana they could improve their centerpieces.]  the church flowers will be the ones provided by the church.  yup, even though paco park church will only be replacing the flowers once for the afternoon weddings, i’ll just keep it at that.  tutal naman, one hour lang kami dun.

no more props for the photo ops.  it’s just us.  and the moon.  that’s enough for me.  hopefully there will be a moon and stars because the wedding ceremony will end at 6pm.  the prenup will be handled by a good friend who’s also a photo hobbyist.  no will-you-be cards.  the save-the-date will be sent online so we don’t have to buy inks and paper.  we’ll be making and printing our own invites as well.  it will be as laid back and as casual as it can be.  for my gown, i think i’ll stick with nana mene, unless she stopped making dresses already.  no offense to divi loyals, but i really don’t like going there.  the crowd literally makes me dizzy.  if nana mene is not available, then i’ll look for an affordable, but reliable, designer as a last resort.

as for the accessories, we’ll probably just buy ready-made stuff from the store.  easier that way.  besides, the cost will just be the same if i do them myself or if i have them custom-made, materials and labor, etc.  everything else that i couldn’t think of for now aren’t probably that important.  hehe.

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wake-up call: stop reading wedding blogs!

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What Happened With I Stopped Reading Wedding Blogs

Remember back when East Side Bride was my first wedding graduate ever? Her first piece of advice was this:
1. Don’t go overboard with the wedding blogs. I know‌. right? They will give you a complex.
At the time, I knew it was good advice, but I wasn’t quite ready to take it. I was still at the sucking-in-wedding-inspiration-with-a-straw point. In fact, I might have been mainlining wedding images into my veins. But whatever, it was TOTALLY HEALTHY, and I DID NOT HAVE A PROBLEM, thanks. I was reading wedding blogs, I was buying wedding magazines, I was under the impression that I needed to maintain some sort of physical wedding “binder,” whatever that was, and even though I was very unclear what I was supposed to be putting into it, I was carefully sticking in images and forms and the like. I was on the job.
But then, one day, something changed. I noticed that 9 out of every 10 wedding blogs/magazines were not making me feel excited about our wedding, they were making me feel tired and overloaded and like I wasn’t living up. Another white dress, another set of favors (and you know favors drive me over the edge), another set of bridesmaid dresses. So I decided, I was going to take East Side’s advice, as an experiment, and stop. I took every wedding blog that didn’t make me feel excited and engaged off my reader. Done.
At first, I didn’t notice anything much. I felt safe and comforted in my little wedding cocoon. I felt like we were all in this together, and everything was going to be just fine. I started feeling very secure in our choices. But I didn’t think much of it. So one day, I was sitting in front of the computer, a bit bored, and I decided to browse on over to some big-wedding-media.
And my eyes popped. You should have seen the astonished look on my face. After a few months of no contact with standard-issue-big-wedding images, the type of weddings you often see had gone from seeming aspirational – what we were all supposed to be living up to – to flat out bananas. Everything draped in pink? Lots and lots of things that inexplicably matched? Endless handmade details all woven together into a overarching theme? Chandlers in the TREES? Instead of seeming delightful and quirky and well thought out, all of this seemed totally out of hand.
Now, none of this is to say you shouldn’t read wedding blogs (achem). None of this is to say you should all have weddings just like mine, or just like each others, or that you can’t have chandeliers in the trees if you want to. BUT. BUT. I think it’s important for each of us to think about what wedding inspiration we’re consuming, and how it is making us feel about ourselves. I talk a lot about how we should find a way to not judge ourselves as we’re planning our weddings, and I really believe that. But I do think that the big-money, big-time, big-energy, One Perfect Day, Your Big Day, The Best Day Of Your Life, The Details Really Matter concept of a wedding that is taken as un-questioned gospel in large parts of the wedding world is damaging. I think it is actually emotionally warping, and is bad news for our sanity, our relationships, and our wallets. It takes our eyes off the prize, it makes us focus on parts of our wedding that really don’t matter (like the favors) instead of focusing on parts of our wedding that really do matter (like the ceremony, or spending time with our loved ones). I think it’s damaging because it makes brides think that they are less-than when they can’t live up to the $100K weddings they are being spoon-fed.
So. Take a moment to think about what wedding magazines you are reading, what wedding blogs you are reading, what images you are consuming. If they are making you feel good about yourself and your decisions, and giving you inspiration and energy, keep reading them! But if you find yourself thinking, “Those brides are out of my league” or “I’m never going to live up to that” or “I’m just not that chic” or “Oh my god, we’re so not doing this right” or “I really want this simple quick wedding, and I guess that’s impossible.” Then step back. Because you are amazing. And you’re going to do it your way, and that is so much better than doing it someone elses way.
And if that’s still not enough, East Side Bride just followed up with some tips for when wedding blogs are getting you down. Yeah. She’s a smart lady.
Now go spin around in your dress, boogie around your living room to your favorite song, kiss your partner, and pour yourself a drink. I think that’s the feeling you’re going for.
*Not all wedding blogs, obviously. Just wedding blogs that didn’t make me feel excited to be myself.

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ross will definitely agree to this.  and i do to.  ever since i started reading wedding blogs and signed up for W@W, i’ve been slowly formulating in my head a wedding that i consciously know, while it would be fantastic and memorable and wonderful, is out-of-budget.

ross was right.  having no dream wedding at all opens my mind up to a whole lot of things, which then makes me want to have everything that i find cute and pretty and want-able.

so.

i need to clear my head and go for the essentials.  only.  signing up with manila hotel as the venue for our wedding reception has already taken off a lot of our plate (i.e. bridal car, centerpieces [but i couldn’t let go this one – their centerpieces are a complete put off for me], accommodations, etc.). so i think we should only focus on the other important things now:  the gowns, suits, flowers (we might just have to stick with flowers for the entourage; and just get the loose flowers from the hotel), thank you gifts and invitations.  the save-the-dates, i’ve already commissioned (haha, commissioned daw!) kim to do that.  the invites, ross and i are going to make and print it.  i would love to have it letterpressed, but no can do.  lights and sounds, we’ll just stick to what the hotel provides as well.  we can do an upgrade, but only if the videos requires it to.  as for the cake, we’re really going for a cupcake tower.  we just need to find a very very affordable baker.  as for the other details, we can probably tweak/improve/overhaul them…but i cannot afford to be a bridezilla.  we still have airfare expenses to worry about.

from a practical wedding